California Facing Drought

With this spring being the driest on record for much of the state, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared California to be in an official drought. What is being done to offset the effects of the water crisis?

• Gardeners must haul their own water from Mexico


• Wolfgang Puck to unveil new line of waterless meals


• Upon the conclusion of each Shamu Show at San Diego's SeaWorld, all persons seated in the Splash Zone must wring out their wet clothes over the lip of the orca tank


• Local radio stations required to play Garbage's "I'm Only Happy When It Rains" on the hour


• San Francisco will probably think up something young and hip to do


• Wildfires only allowed to rage out of control on odd-numbered days


• Spending $40 million to promote Napa Valley's new Chunky Pinot Noir


• Top scientific minds will be summoned to see if they can somehow utilize the immense body of water immediately to the state's left

*From The Onion, though the drought is very real.

Meanwhile, in Vegas (which is in the middle of a $%!&ing desert):

Monday - Friday

3:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
show every 1/2 hour
8:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.
show every 15 minutes

Saturdays, Sundays and Holidays

12:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
show every 1/2 hour
8:00 p.m. - 12:00 a.m.
show every 15 minutes