Depressed Candidate Runs Attack Ad About Self

"Mitt Romney says he's a candidate for change. He says he's a candidate Americans can finally trust," begins the self-destructive television spot, narrated by Romney himself. "But in 2004, this so-called Washington outsider approved nearly four separate tax hikes. And do you know why he did that? Because he's a big fat disappointment, that's why."

"Ugh," the television spot continues. "I'm going back to bed."